Nate started a new job last summer, yay no more tax seasons!!! We were hoping that it would have been a good move. The type of work that he was doing were things that he enjoyed, but the work environment turned out to be very toxic to his health. I will explain why I consider it toxic. Here we go hang on for a long drawn out story.
It all started the day after Christmas we were driving down to Williamsburg, our favorite place to take the kiddos. Nate and I started talking about maybe trying to move back to Utah. Now we have been toying with this idea for awhile and was not going to try it for a few more years. I could see that his current work environment was starting to take a negative toll on Nate. So I suggested why not try making the move now. The kids are going to be starting a new school next year anyway, they are building a brand new one around the corner(YAY). So why not move back across the country to Utah and be around more family.
Starting in January he really went at it with the job searching in Utah. He applied to anywhere and everything that had to do with accounting. He even applied at some of the bigger accounting firms that he really did not want to work at, but we really wanted to move back:).
Well the beginning of February the bottom fell out from under us. I found out that one of my close friends that has been battling Breast Cancer for a number of years was not given a very optimistic outcome. She has four young kids three of which match up perfectly with mine. Chandler and their oldest are the best of buddies. So we took the news pretty hard.
Well the floor was still dropping from us. Nate fell into a really deep depression thanks to his boss. Let me explain why I put the blame on her. He is an assistant controller and there are two people above him: the controller and the CFO. Well the controller is not a very pleasant person to work for. She would nix Nate's ideas on how to do things all the time, basically stripped his self confidence away. She swears at the people below her and belittles them left and right. Basically bullying the people around her, to get them to do it her way. So he felt nothing he was doing was ever good enough. There have been a number of people quit because of her, so it wasn't just Nate that she was nasty with. The CFO keeps her on because she gets the job done, but in the process is loosing all the people below her.
Well to top it off the week that he only went to work two times, he was asked to resign. It was the perfect storm of things. That week happened to be his six month evaluation. Which he was worried about because of what had been happening to begin with. He was going to quit anyway, just not that soon. So it was a decision that all parties agreed upon was the best route to go. They luckily gave him originally until the middle of June, but then a few weeks later moved it to May.
Seeing Nate struggle with this on a daily basis ripped my heart into shreds. I have never felt a complete lack of helplessness in my life. All I could do was cry, pray, uplift, listen, and not judge what he was going through. The medicine did not have the greatest of side effects. So the first three or four weeks, basically that whole month we were living in hell. I won't put all the details in here, but it was the hardest time we have encountered in the almost 14 years of marriage.
While this was going on Nate was still looking for a job with no success in Utah. We decided or I decided to get the house ready to sell. So the quest to get to Utah took on a whole new meaning, I needed to be around family to get through this tough time. I was giving all the support and needed help. Luckily we have some fabulous friends that I confided in that brought us meals, sent encouraging emails, lots of phone calls, and talking to the bishop. Family close and far away were great at calling, praying, and sending cards. Nate has a brother in Virgina and we went to their house quite a few times and his brother called many times and gave him a blessing. The only way that we were making it day to day was through faith and a lot of prayers.
Meanwhile the kids were starting to see the stress we were under and so their behavior changed and not for the better. I had some health issues that sent me to the er. Nate lost a lot of weight because of the stress and I gained weight because of it. So it was not only taking emotional tolls, but also physical tolls on us. It was hard trying to figure a way to get everyone out of this black hole we were in. Like I said before a lot of praying and faith. Now that we are into May everything is going into a more positive direction.
The middle of March Nate decided that things in Utah were not moving, so he started looking here. In March and April I had painting and re-carpeting done. We had decided that we would move wherever he gets a job. He finally got a job interview in Utah with a company that seemed really interested in him, so he flew out. The office was in a rough part of SLC, it was a very run down office space. And he had heard the owner was a yeller, they also had never had an accountant before. It actually did not turn out to be a good fit for him.
He got a number of interviews in MD the month of April. The possibility of staying out here were getting greater. To end this long tale of woe on a happier note. Last Friday he was offered a position for a company that is really close to were we currently live. Best part is he won't have to go on a freeway at all for his commute!!! So we are going to be Marylanders from now on:)
I was busy getting the house ready during the month of April. Taking lots of loads to the storage unit in the back of our van(who needs a uhaul when you have a mini van) I talked to a realtor yesterday and it looks like we are on our way to putting our current house on the market. With Spring came the light of hope. Going through these last months we have grown closer as a couple.
